I made it through July 13th. And the entire day I couldn't function. I must've cried more than I did anything else that day. I miss my girls. I wish I had gotten to meet them. I wish Brian had gotten to meet them. Mommy misses you Sarah and Ashleigh. I miss you more than anyone right now.
Brian and I have started to become better friends to each other. He's really putting in effort, but now I'm not sure I am anymore. I'm heart-broken. I want more than just his friendship, but I know that isn't possible, so I've given up on having anything more than friendship with him. Now, I'm even more upset because he recently told me that he had considered us dating and dismissed it. My heart has been shredded into fragments that are unrecognizable. I feel numb towards him. It hurts, but his friendship is important to me. So I won't let him know any of this.
I've began focusing on making my life more meaningful, in the hopes of filling this emptiness. I broke up with Stacey after almost six months, but that story deserves a post of it's own. I'm spending my days studying and preparing to apply for new positions in the CISPHL and UTP organizations. It feels good to be doing anything other than sleeping all day and moping around in sadness.
I've had a lot happen lately. I'm burning out, but I won't quit. I'm going to keep pressing on and hope that all of my hard work and effort will be worth it in the end. Until then, I'm focusing on myself.
Brian and I have started to become better friends to each other. He's really putting in effort, but now I'm not sure I am anymore. I'm heart-broken. I want more than just his friendship, but I know that isn't possible, so I've given up on having anything more than friendship with him. Now, I'm even more upset because he recently told me that he had considered us dating and dismissed it. My heart has been shredded into fragments that are unrecognizable. I feel numb towards him. It hurts, but his friendship is important to me. So I won't let him know any of this.
I've began focusing on making my life more meaningful, in the hopes of filling this emptiness. I broke up with Stacey after almost six months, but that story deserves a post of it's own. I'm spending my days studying and preparing to apply for new positions in the CISPHL and UTP organizations. It feels good to be doing anything other than sleeping all day and moping around in sadness.
I've had a lot happen lately. I'm burning out, but I won't quit. I'm going to keep pressing on and hope that all of my hard work and effort will be worth it in the end. Until then, I'm focusing on myself.
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